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The Field of Terror in Hightstown


Oh yes, I'm on fire this year! It's not yet October, and I've already managed to make it to a pair of haunted house attractions! This time I journeyed with my friends Ed and Lauren to the Field of Terror in Hightstown, NJ. The Field of Terror featured a 3-acre corn maze ($10) and a hayride ($12). We took advantage of the combo deal and did both for twenty bucks. This was a pretty decent value, because the farm was gigantic and it resulted in one of the longest attractions I've visited.

The corn maze came first. It required a brief tractor ride out to an enclosure that was labeled "Meat Locker." This began what was at least a 20 minute walk through corn (more of a path than a maze, certainly). This was definitely a pretty solidly arranged haunt. There were, of course, folks hiding in corn to leap at you as well as the obligatory chainsaw-wielding lunatic. Three features stand out as the highlights of this portion (one for the wrong reasons):
  1. We had to walk through an old school bus with Freddy Kreuger at the wheel. The dude did a phenomenal job of looking fake when we entered the bus and then leaping out of the seat and shutting the bus door behind us. Bravo!
  2. In the middle of the corn field, there was a random port-a-potty. It was totally filled with fake feces. We couldn't determine why this belonged there, unless it was haunted poop. Either way, this was supremely hilarious.
  3. My friend Ed called out one of the zombie girls for being drunk. I will cover this in detail later, because it was amazing.

After the maze was the hayride. They should have definitely selected this as the first of the two attractions. Its lameness would've made the corn maze seem even cooler. It basically just featured clowns walking slowly alongside the cart. The scariest part by far was the fact that the old man was driving the tractor in complete darkness. Still not totally sure how he was pulling that off. The ride did provide a few laughs, though. First, there was a graveyard area that featured a headstone which read "Count Chocolate." Come on! Who doesn't know that it's Count Chocula? And second, there was a young girl (she looked maybe 10 or 11) on the ride with us who was so totally unafraid that it became funny. There was a point at which a masked man jumped onto the back of the cart wielding some sort of farm-equipment-weaponry. He was right next to the young girl and was doing everything in his power to make her scared or uncomfortable. She knew he was there, but totally ignored him and just began telling her dad a story about a homeless guy she had seen once.

Ok, so back to my third entertaining item from the corn maze. We are walking through the cornfield and come up to a door. There's a young girl outside of it with a gaping neck wound kind of thing, and as we approach, she says, "Don't go in there, he'll get you too!" As we get up next to her, she comes closer and says it again a few inches from us. She smells strongly of booze.

Her: "Don't go in there, they'll get you like they got me!"
Ed: "Did they get you with the alcohol?"
Her: "Shut up." (this resulted in my immediate engulfment in crippling laughter in the middle of the corn field)

In closing, if anyone reads this before going to the Field of Terror this year, remember two things: save your cash and just do the corn maze, and beware of intoxicated zombies.