I was trying to stuff in another haunted house trip or two in the last weekend of the month. So Beth and I went to Shaefer Farms in Flemington. I'd been to this one last year but I figured maybe it'd be a little different. Even if it wasn't, I didn't really care. Well, it turns out it was different. Pretty much all of the ways that it was different involved it sucking a lot more. First of all, we showed up and waited in a line for close to an hour to get on the hayride. There were just way too many people there. Making it far worse was the group of four complete jackasses behind us in line. They were high school kids from whatever local school has the "Warriors" as their mascot. I wanted to video tape them and find a way to mail them the recording in 20 years so they can realize what total assholes they were when they were teenagers. But anyway, back to the crappy hayride. We finally got to the front of the line and made sure to sit as far away from the four morons as we could. They hayride was really cold and boring. It involved 100% stupid skits and 0% people running out of the woods at the tractor. This is where all the hayrides go wrong, and they could be so much more effective if they reversed that percentage completely. Literally the only cool thing I saw on the hayride was a police car with a cop-corpse in the drivers seat having its brains eaten by a zombie-dude. Everything else sucked. Or if it didn't suck, it blew. Or maybe it honked. The corn maze that followed could have been cool, but it lasted for about 90 seconds and I only saw 5 people hiding in it to scare us. Two of the five had chainsaws, though - so that was a nice percentage. Finally, we went through the clown house. Again this was vastly shortened from last year. We were done in under two minutes and it seemed like most of the clowns had gone home. One of the clowns tried to scare us by yelling, "WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?!" I'm not sure why he thought this would be effective. Had I been less cold and anxious to leave, I may have responded to him with something appropriate like, "I'm regretting wasting twenty dollars on this garbage." |