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Valley of Fear in Feasterville, PA


The 2006 Halloween season is upon us and you know what that means. It means that in late September I have already begun my torrid haunted house circuit! I started strong this year, organizing a group of 13 people to get out on September 30th and check out the Valley of Fear in Feasterville, Pennsylvania.

It's tough to find attractions around here that I haven't already visited, but Valley of Fear was new for me. It featured a hayride, 3 haunted houses, and a walkthrough maze. We all opted to skip the maze since the ground was really wet and try all the other parts.

The hayride was first, and it was pretty standard. Clowns, zombies, and various axe wielding lunatics all approached the cart with little fanfare. Nothing scary, except for the blood curdling screaming of some girl towards the front of the hayride. She seemed to legimately believe she was about to die. Our group was in the back and we had a lot of good laughs on the hayride, especially when we drove past a diarrhea-stained port-a-potty out in the woods. That's always a great decision in a haunted attraction. Additionally, we got some laughs from one particularly cooperative haunter who honored our request to chase after us while walking like a gorilla.

The three houses followed the hayride. The first was a generic haunted house, the second was 3-D with some clowns, and the third was incredibly dark and vaguely pirate-themed. All were fairly short and largely uneventful. Highlights included some really creepy girls at the end of the first house (who were creepy only because they were exceptionally small - and everyone knows little girls are creepy), a random room filled completely with suds, and a when I walked up to a large zombie who stared at me for a couple seconds and then said (in a low, growly zombie voice) "you're supposed to go the other way."

All in all, nothing outstanding here but we had a great time because we were in a big group and had plenty to laugh about.